Last night, my phone wouldn’t stop buzzing. “Turn on the TV!” my uncle urged. “Did we know about this?!” my sister-in-law Emily asked with surprise. Even Kelly Dawson, a contributor to Cup of Jo, shared a photo from her living room, excited to see a familiar name featured on Jeopardy!.
The prompt on the screen read: “Dying of lung cancer, Paul Kalanithi attempted to answer what makes life worth living in ‘When Breath Becomes’ this.” It was a poignant reminder of a memoir that has touched so many hearts.
For those who don’t know, Paul Kalanithi was a neurosurgeon and writer who faced a devastating diagnosis of late-stage lung cancer. His memoir, When Breath Becomes Air, chronicles his journey through illness, death, and the profound question of what gives life meaning. My sister Lucy and Paul were married for eight years before he passed away in 2015. She played a vital role in bringing his memoir to the world the year after his death, helping to ensure his story reached those who needed it most.
When I called Lucy after seeing the episode, we shared a laugh imagining someone answering the Jeopardy! question in reverse. “What is air?” could be a simple response, but instead, the answer was layered with grief, reflection, and a legacy that keeps breathing long after Paul’s passing.
Lucy told me she was moved to see Paul’s memoir still woven into the cultural conversation. “One of the things that really surprised me after Paul died was that he actually died,” she said in a recent interview. “He had been living with late-stage cancer for two years, and even though I knew that day would come, when someone actually dies, it’s like they vanish. They disappear, and that shock is hard to describe.”
Their family honors Paul’s memory with quiet rituals. Whenever we visit San Francisco, we always stop by Paul’s grave. Lucy and her daughter often go with friends and family, especially on meaningful dates like New Year’s Eve or Paul’s birthday. Sometimes, Lucy visits alone, seeking comfort in those moments when she doesn’t feel quite herself. “I’ll lie on him, and then I’ll feel better,” she said. On their wedding anniversary, she brings a lemon from their lemon tree, a small, intimate tribute to a love that endures beyond loss.
Seeing Paul’s story on a show as iconic as Jeopardy! reminds us how personal stories can resonate widely, inviting reflection on life’s most essential questions. It also invites us to ask: Who are you missing today? Whose memory do you carry quietly with you, like a secret light?
In the rush of daily life, moments like these—a name on a screen, a memory sparked—bring us back to the heart of what it means to live, love, and remember.
Did you catch the Jeopardy! episode last night? If so, what memories did it stir for you? And if you’re holding someone close in your heart today, I’m sending you love.
